Over two calendar years and 52 mixes of 1,088 songs these are my favorites in ascending order:
11. Helplessly Hoping (live) Richie Havens
Richie Havens once sang at my church fair, during a time in the 80s when his brand of hippie idealism must have been completely out of favor. Taking this gig must have been somewhat of a come-down for a man who headlined Woodstock, but you would never have known that by his demeanor. The crowd of suburban Catholic families seemed indifferent and I was too young to know anything about him, but I could sense a dignity and sincerity to him. I thought of this as I heard his lovely live version of Crosby, Stills & Nash's "Helplessly Hoping", and it only came to mean to more to me this past year or so. The period of time these songs soundtracked was most profoundly effected by losing the monkey of the duo whose nicknames inspired this blog. Seeing him, despite his body slowly failing him, stay strong and vibrant to his last day still inspires me. But it also reminds me how I came to see him as indestructible, that he would never die and never leave us. There is a line Havens repeats here, inflecting different tones in each chorus, moving from tenderness to resolve: "we are three together/we are for each other" that perfectly captures our little family unit. Now and forever.
10. Bookfiend MF Doom ft. Clams Casino
I've long been a fan of MF Doom and all of his various aliases. His lyrics are often inscrutable, but words do not need to make literal sense to me for them to make actual sense to me. This is a remix of a track called "Bookhead" and the moody Clams Casino production merits a title change even if the words are exactly the same. This stuck with me for a long time, capturing a spacey melancholy that followed me from the day I lost the monkey so suddenly. The sense of mystery death invokes, and that this track conjures was a feeling I went back to over and over again.
9. Like To Get To Know You Spanky and Our Gang
Sometimes when I make these mixes, it's not a song accidentally finding me but a song I seek out. I had vague memories of this song from my teenage years, driving in my car with the radio on, taking a break from the rock stations and stopping on the "oldies" station. This was one of those songs I liked and decided to look up one day. I remembered it being an odd blend of wistful and haunting. It's sweet and slightly goofy and a little bit sad underneath it all.
8. Never Too Much Luther Vandross
I was never much a fan of Luther Vandross, as his ascendancy marks a line for me in "soul" music from the more interesting productions of the 70s to the slicker and more sterile sounds of 80s r&b. But this single, his first, is from a time in the early 80s where an r&b song still had plenty of funk and disco in its system. The guitar on this is also essential. I love the sentiment as well, thinking of the monkey and the fox, how a thousand kisses and a million days are never too much.
7. Can You Rock It Like This Run-D.M.C.
The second consecutive 80s track from a non-rock genre that uses guitar in a way that amplifies the intended feeling. In this case, it's a swagger that is at times hilarious. Telling the world that women like you so much that your face is a "thousand lipstick flavors", but also admitting maybe you're looking for a "casual life/ something normal nuttin formal three kids and a wife" are just a few of the lines that in aggregate feel almost like a stand-up comedy routine set to guitar and a beat. In my house, I was the Jam Master Jay to the swaggeringly hilarious monkey and the fox.
6. In Between Days The Cure
Another track from the mid-80s, this made my last mix of the year's batch and I was surprised I hadn't used it before. The Cure soundtracked my teens as much as Run-D.M.C. did. Like so many songs I love, I don't know exactly what it means but I know how it makes me feel.
5. Glad Tidings Merry Clayton
Anyone who follows this blog knows how much I love a well-done cover song, and this version of a minor Van Morrison song sounds very major when Merry Clayton messes with it. If the original is a Van Morrison r&b experiment, Merry Clayton's version is the proof.
4. Softer, Softest (live MTV version) Hole
The original is a song I mostly ignored on their album Live Through This, packed with so many other great songs. But the live version is something else: vicious, defiant and triumphant. The sound of someone who learned to survive.
3. Born To Run Frankie Goes To Hollywood
My top 3 songs of the year were pretty clear to me. The original Bruce Springsteen version of "born To Run" is of course perfect but this version is something better than perfect. It drops the sax from the original and instead doubles up the bass, making it feel like a thrilling ride. He can sing better than Bruce, and his voice goes from a croon to a sneer and back to something desperate and never anything but real. That opening "Ha!" is my favorite second to any song on here, a big middle finger to a very tough year.
2. Luchini - This Is It Camp Lo
This was the celebratory anthem of the year for me, in a year that didn't feel like I had much to celebrate. Being alive. Being with the monkey and the fox. The horns, the chorus, everything.
1. Mother's Last Word To Her Son Washington Phillips
This beautiful song from the mysterious Washington Phillips is my favorite song of the year. It's his voice, those words and that sound: he created an instrument that is sometimes referred to as a "manzarene". It sounds, with the echoes of harp, like something from heaven which makes sense for this particular song. All during the monkey's life, people would refer to me as his "daddy" but in reality I was his mother. This song can alternately bring tears to my eyes or a happy swelling in my heart. And I will forever think of the monkey who is up in heaven, laughing at us. Knowing we miss him and will never forget him.
Helplessly Hoping (live) Richie Havens
Bookfiend MF Doom ft. Clams Casino
Like To Get To Know You Spanky & Our Gang
Never Too Much Luther Vandross
Can You Rock It Like This Run-D.M.C.
In Between Days The Cure
Glad Tidings Merry Clayton
Softer, Softest (live on MTV) Hole
Born To Run Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Luchini - This Is It Camp Lo
Mother's Last Word To Her Son Washington Phillips
